by scott on August 22, 2010
1. The first one in the morning. (It’s like coffee!)
2. The one that follows unexpected bad news.
3. The one that follows a job well done.
4. The one you smoke while you’re deciding something important, or unimportant.
5. The one somebody actually takes out of their pack and foists upon you without your asking. (The one you pull out of somebody else’s pack, or ask for, counts.)
6. The one after sex.
7. The one you smoke rather than engaging in an act of violence.
8. The first one you smoke with any alcoholic beverage.
9. The one at the end of an especially satisfying meal, or a meal.
10. The one you employ as part of a cheesy barroom magic trick.
See, you’re really only smoking, like, eight cigarettes a day. The rest are just punctuation, reward and politeness.
by scott on August 16, 2010
Yeah, I know – lawbi #18 is supposed to go here, and I believe it’s running in the current issue of Creative Loafing here in the Bay area. But I can’t find it anywhere on CL’s site just yet, so we’ll skip it for now and I’ll link it when it’s up over there …
So, there’s been a lot of talk lately about anchor babies (20 bucks says that term came from a marketing major) and repealing the 14th Amendment — that’s the one that, among other things, confers automatic citizenship on children born on American soil. And yeah, at its root, it’s exactly the panicked fear-mongering pass-the-buck finger-pointing you suspect it is. In a way, it’s almost admirable in its commitment to absurdity: Hey, unemployed professional, you can’t find work because the Mexicans who do your neighbors’ landscaping have stolen all your government’s money!
But that doesn’t mean it’s not a good idea. Even the cesspool of self-interest that passes for our nation’s legislative tastemakers will occasionally stumble upon something good for the country.
By all means, let’s do away with automatic citizenship.
For everybody.
Read the rest at CL …
1. The first one in the morning. (It’s like coffee!)